discovering my threshold of pain

is far less unless self inflicted 

recovering from the patterns 

I know too well

I return again

this time it feels real

a chance to be seen

in ways I’m meant to give

and not disappear

when feelings appear

but learn to love

without expectation

or risk the pain

of shoes that don’t fit

I’m forced to admit

they vaguely resemble

an acquaintances dream

drawn and quartered

and passion waning

a soldier after war

is forced to accept

this lack of structure

is wearing me thin

Left with little time

for spontaneous play

toying with the possibility

we exist and function

eerily similar 

to our beloved drone

a couple of courses closer

until treading understands

its place in the shallow end

a marriage of worlds

it’s there where purpose begins